Do hardships make me happy?

We moved into a new apartment in Haifa.

It's a fascinating space. A very old apartment, many things in a sort of partially working state that need some work, an AC in just one of the two bedrooms, no microwave, a broken dresser that I've been fixing... It's something we'd never take if we looked at it online. But Yael stumbled on it in a sublet Facebook group and it was next door so we went to take a look.

It's one of those places that was an immediate "yes" for both of us, even though logically it's quite the shit show. It's on the 4th floor without an elevator. But - and that's a huge but, it has a large section of the roof set up as a huge balcony with lots of potted plants, and a view of the Haifa bay. And the house comes with two cats, which is a bit of a burden on one hand and a joy on the other.

So the limitations sort of combine to create this fantastic atmosphere. You can't cool the entire apartment so there's no incentive to stay indoors. Because of that we spend most of our time on the roof/balcony. The balcony has water for irrigation connected to impromptu outdoor shower we use to escape the heat.

The fact that it's on the 4th floor means we mostly don't go down to the street, and the fact that we have this huge balcony means we're outdoors all day but without the crowds or thr cars (it's actually pretty quiet up here).

The fact that the house needs some work means we've been forced to make it our own. Even the fact that there's only one room with AC means we all sleep in the same room which forces us to sync our sleep times, which has been a real struggle with the kids since ... well, forever. And oh - the fact that there are no shades in the living room and it points east, means we can't sleep in, which further forces us to earlier sleep and wake up times.

I mean, how does this apartment, which is so awful on a whole range of criteria and only has a few positive aspects, turn out to be a place where we're so happy?

I've been naturally putting so much more effort in homeschooling here too. It's almost as if too much comfort is profoundly counterproductive. Feels like there's a deeper philosophical idea here but I'm actually afraid to go there.

I don't want to reach a conclusion that hardship is necessary for happiness, that would be absurd. But that is what this experience seems to be pointing to.

Perhaps it's not about hardship in general but the right kind of hardship - elected hardship - hardship that pushes us toward the very things we aspire to but can't quite achieve without external pressure. Perhaps this is a key life design principle - where you formula your goals and then introduce certain kinds of constraints that force you to move toward those goals.

Another example is becoming unemployable by experiencing the freedom (often terrifying) of entrepreneurship. I realized about 4 years ago that I would never go back to a job. I couldn't stand it anymore. That put me in a position where I absolutely *had* to figure out a way to make money without a job. I bet everything I had on this because I had no other choice. Would have never figured it out if I was trying to build on the side.

Same thing with traveling light with just carry-on luggage - we still roughly fit in 4 carry on suitcases if we discard food and a few random items. It forces minimalism and agility - often uncomfortable agility - but it does make us resilient and perhaps even anti-fragile (which means not just withstanding hardship but actively growing from it). This mindset is so profound that even war and a full closure of Israel's airspace didn't disrupt our plans too much.

So yeah.

Perhaps intentional hardship is part of my philosophy. It's definitely what I'm intuitively drawn to.

Intentional hardship...

Do I actually mean "applied masochism"?

😳